Well, this clearly doesn't belong on any of my other internet writing outlets, and it's too big for Twitter, so I'm going to post it here and tweet it.
I got bored with telling people the password for our Wi-Fi when they come to visit, so I've made a nice framed version of it to point at. I also decided to jazz it up (it's pronounced 'yazz') by creating a hand-stitched sampler to go above it, and since I'm hilarious, I adapted this pattern for a 'Home Sweet Home' sampler into a 'Hub Sweet Hub' equivalent.
It's not perfect (don't let me start listing the faults in it) but it looks good from a distance, and yes, I've put it up where it can't be seen from outside the window. The bit with the SSID/password was originally going to be stitched too, but I decided I couldn't be bothered redoing it as we're thinking of changing our SSID to something stupid. Because we're hilarious. So it's printed, and easily swappable.
(in which I tweet a slightly strange sentence because I am tired and on a train; one Twitter user suggests it could make a good opening to a short story; I take the ball and run with it, challenging him and one other nearby Twitter user to a short story writing competition in which short means really short; the challenge is set).
In response to that original, hasty, bleary-eyed tweet (through a haze of travel-induced exhaustion), I was sent two entries. They are below:
The man opposite is drinking coffee. I don’t like the smell, but at least it’s not booze. Booze might set me off, the way cigarette smoke did after I quit smoking. Everything except temptation…
Coffee isn’t black enough to tempt. It’s desire without the spice of wrong. I haul the smell into my nostrils and consider how I’ll complain about it later. I’ll need something more: a cuppa on a train isn’t even a tutting offence. Maybe he tipped it down my trousers - but you’d see the stain, wouldn’t you? My hand, then. I can play up the scald all day. Even better.
The man opposite is necking crisps. He doesn’t seem to care.
I wish I didn’t.
The man opposite is drinking coffee. I don't like the smell, but at least it's not booze. Booze would make him drool uncontrollably, and alien drool is both slimy and smelly; people also say it's corrosive.
I look at his eyes, what there is of them. Since the iris is part of his skin, the whole eye has shrunk to a pinprick. That's what caffeine does. Next to him, his wife sits, her mouth formed into a tight “o” - her equivalent of an apologetic smile. I'm trying to look friendly but she can tell I'm disgusted by them.
Her husband speaks. It's an effort for him to form human sounds. “Racist scum!” he hisses.
And the winner is…
Since I'm a sucker for sci-fi, and while Story 1 is nicely written, it doesn't quite go anywhere while Story 2 sends you off in a direction you can use your imagination to proceed further in. The award goes to @Chris_Taylor13, and while it's not an actual physical award, the smugness will be felt for miles around.
And so, in the interest of things happening on a regular basis, I'll be launching another Steckles Award for Extremely Short Fiction, using a tweet of my choice (since Chris technically chose the first one), and will announce it here and on my twitter feed (@stecks). Rules are below.
The Rules
The story must be 140 words (yes, the initial competition was 100 words, but 140 is more Twittery) and start with the chosen tweet (the tweet is not included in the word count)
Entries must be received within one week of the announcement of the competition, by email, link to your own blog, or Twitlonger.
The winner of each competition elects the tweet which forms the basis of the next competition (if the tweet they choose contains a hyperlink or hashtag, that will be ignored and the remainder of the tweet will constitute the opening sentence)
I will post all entries here on my blog at the end of each competition, as well as a short critique and announcement of the winner
All participants should take the whole thing extremely seriously at all times
In a break from form, instead of writing blog posts here about robots, I've written a robot-themed blog post (featuring our old friends, Nao, and that old chestnut, the Thriller dance) over at The Aperiodical, which is a maths-based online magazine I co-edit with two other people. Feel free to go and check it out, especially since the video is pretty cute - although of course, if you wait patiently, I'll continue to post robot/cake themed nonsense here also.
Ever found yourself building a tall structure from bricks? It's such a pain. The Lemmings you hired to do the job have run out of bricks after a limited (but surprisingly large, given the size of their bag) number of bricks, shrugged and walked away. The human builders you got in to replace them keep whining about pay and conditions, and something about sugars in their tea. It's time to call in the robots.
As a big fan of both robots and Lego, I was excited to discover that someone on the internet has used the phrase "The Lego of Robotics" (in fact, quite a few people have) - and all of them, literally without exception, are talking about Cubelets.
They're currently only available on pre-order, but it looks like they launch at the end of June. Wow, just in time for my 27.17808219th birthday! Anyone feeling particularly generous, you know what to do.
So, the robot-based video that's been doing the rounds recently is this amazing clip of some Quadrotors (as previously mentioned in this post, in which Quadrocopters juggle) - and they're now able to play the James Bond Theme. That is, when a specially outfitted keyboard and strung frame of tuned strings is set up for them.
Aside from the completely over-dramatic intro, it's a slightly odd version of the James Bond theme, and I've heard complaints it's missing the exciting climactic bit the James Bond theme has at its heart (although, admittedly, that does need a lot more notes).
Anyway, the idea of musical robots has inspired me to locate a few more fantastic music/robot based videos, for your internet joy.
FluteBot WF-4RIV and SaxBot WAS-1
Admittedly not classic jazz names, but these guys can sure duet on the flute and sax. Watch FluteBot's 'lungs' go up and down, and his fingers playing the keys. Also, the HAT (also, the eyebrows, and what we suspect might be a moustache)! SaxBot is a bit more R2D2 to his C3PO, but otherwise they make a fine musical duo.
Toyota's Robot Quartet
This lovely video shows a performance by four robots (two trumpets, tuba and drums). Having seen the quadrotors above and asked myself, can't there just be a robot that's got a musical instrument built in, so it could be better at playing it? Here's my answer. I love the drummer, and his little bass pedal at the front.
Robot Violinist
Another bit of genius from Toyota - the robot comes out looking impressive, and the audience waits with bated breath - then it turns out he's just playing a simple tune, and not hugely well. The best part is 'consumer robots could be widely used in homes, hospitals and factories by 2010'. Yep, they're pretty much in all of those places now. Playing the violin all over the place.
Lev, the ThereminBot and his friend Thumpbot
And to finish, what robot music post would be complete without reference to the Theremin, the musical instrument that's kind of a robot itself. This one is controlled by a robot with two little arms, waving them around in what I like to call the 'theramin zone'. And it's paired up with ThumpBot, a fantastic robot made of household objects being hit by little drumsticks, including a box of crackers and an empty jar. Between them they manage to rustle up a not-completely-terrible version of that song that one guy does. I would totally love to have these guys in the corner of my house at a party.
Since it's pretty much just about almost still Pancake Day (it's not, but roll with it) I thought I'd post a couple of videos I found featuring robots and pancakes. Let's face it, that's why you're here.
Speed pancake stacking robots
So, how many pancakes can you stack per minute? What about those little round scotch pancakes that aren't like the ones you make on Pancake day, but are still called pancakes and you buy them in the shops and sometimes they taste of lemon? Is it more, or less, than 450? Well, if it's less than 450, stand in awe of this amazing robot which not only identifies which randomly strewn pancakes are on top of all the other ones, but also grabs them using some kind of amazing pancake lifting method, and then neatly stacks them into two adjacent piles, ready to be packaged up and sent to the shops. Enjoy this video of FlexrPickr, and in particular the informative captions.
Robots still better than me at flipping pancakes
Even this adorable clumsy disembodied robot arm can flip pancakes better than I can (I mainly resort to a spatula-based technique incorporating a large amount of hoping to invert my creations). In this video, a man first teaches it the action of flipping a pancake (and yes, people have tried that with me but with no success) and then gives it a chance to try flipping the pancake itself, with hilarious yet increasingly successful results. It apparently takes [spoilers] 50 goes at flipping the pancake before it is successful.
The trailer for short circuit
To round off this post, I'm putting the trailer for Short Circuit, one of the many awesome robot-based films, purely because the trailer contains the amazing bit (around 0:46) where he attempts to make breakfast, and gets pancake batter everywhere in a nostalgic Short-Circuit-remembering moment which makes me feel as gooey inside as an undercooked pancake. Pancake pancake pancake.
